Something else the world doesn't need...

I'm not sure how to feel about this:

"Bacterial Orchestra (2006) is a self-organizing evolutionary musical organism. The installation consists of several audio cells. Every cell listens to its surroundings and picks up sounds, trying to play together in a musical way. The musical material comes from the background noise, people talking or sounds played by other cells.

Every cell has a unique DNA. Only the ones that are musical fit enough survives. If
the surroundings doesn’t meet up to its conditions - too noisy, too quiet or no distinct
pulse - the cell dies and is reborn with a new, hopefully better, set of DNA.

The result is a musical organism adapting to and changing its environment, growing and evolving with other cells and spectators.

Every cell is simple, but together they create a complex whole. Every cell makes a sound, but together they create music."


On the one hand, the idea of a bunch of iPhones, or any other small, popular device communicating with others in such an easily recognizable way is really cool. And it brings up all kinds of interesting questions about what makes music music in the first place. The article says that the cells only use "musical" sounds to play in a "musical way," but they don't explain exactly what that means. It could be a distinct sound, a rhythmic sound, a beat-like thump, a short burst of melody, a chord, an anything. And the video on the page shows several kinds of sounds being used, so obviously it's not an easy definition to pin down - I just wish they'd put a better definition on it in the article.

And the idea of one sound branching out, feeding on itself ad infinitum is really astoundingly interesting. One note becomes two, becomes however many more, branching out and out and out into an orchestra of noise that is supposedly musical... how fascinating. BUT - only fascinating because machines are doing it.

Because, if you think about it, that's how music has already been done for thousands of years, organically, by people. Sounds inspiring other sounds, coming from many different sources to create an organic whole - jamming.

So once again, with Terminator: Salvation on its second day of mainstream release, I must ask: what is it about machines doing something we already can do, and quite well, and in a far superior fashion, that is so incredible to us? Is it simply our ability to recreate artificially the things we are almost all capable of creating organically? The fact that we have to apply our minds and our technology to achieve it, rather than just ourselves?

I don't like that idea. Why artificially recreate a good thing just because we can? Why not take a step back, smell the roses, realize they smell better than factory-made perfume, and appreciate human life and its ability to create art in itself? Why make machines do it for us? Or is that a higher order of art in itself?

Somebody help me out here - I can't quite figure this one out.


And, PLEASE, DO comment people! I need to know people are actually reading this and I'm not just doing it for myself! But, also, please don't expect an immediate response. I'm going to the beach and I'm turning off my phone and I'm keeping away from computers! Be back next Wednesday!

...every time a rug is micturated upon in this fair city...

Holy crap people! Well, holy urine, I guess. NASA has successfully purified human urine into drinkable water. They're celebrating by drinking pee on the Space Station and at NASA. There's a little blurb on it in the New York Times.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong here, but isn't this a gigantic long-jump style leap toward solving drinking water problesm here on our home planet? I mean, great that the astronauts (and one cosmonaut) are swallowing their own swill and all, but shouldn't this be a huge story for places like Africa and overpopulated regions of... well... everywhere? Isn't the freshwater crisis like a humongous gigantic bomb of a story? Shouldn't we be dancing in the streets now that we can all drink our pee and not worry so much?

...Oh, wait. I forgot. No, the freshwater crisis ISN'T a big story, even though it's made huge headlines and is a horrible fucking calamity that people need to be made aware of and forced to act upon immediately so save us all from horrible parched deaths. Because people don't want to hear about it. And drinking pee? Well by George, that's just gross, folks. Way too disgusting to be real, much less a viable solution to a worldwide problem! Heck, it's even worse than that whoosiewhatsit liberal hippie notion of using methane as a renewable energy source! Hogwash! That's just disgusting.

Well, dammit, people, I'M excited! Let's go dance in the streets anyway. Start a trend. And drink our own pee.

Spring in the city!

It's just lovely out today, which is welcome after a few days of unseasonably cool weather, and everyone is out in their favorite spring dresses and shorts and flip-flops and such. This morning, getting on a crowded 5 train in the Bronx, I was stuck behind a very tall, large (big-boned, shall we say) woman who seemed excessively awkward while stepping into the car. She was in flip-flops and a light brown cotton sun dress, and I vaguely resented her for probably having her day planned around lounging in the park and going shopping while I had to sit inside the gallery and not even see the sunlight. I was annoyed and thought some vaguely mean thought about this woman, then forgot all about her once I got in and got a spot. However, at the the next stop I managed to nab a seat and found myself sitting facing her from across the car while she stood in the doorway.

I noticed her feet - they were huge. Which made sense, I supposed, given her height and breadth. But they were nicely pedicured. Whatever.

I turned to my book and read for a few minutes before the strangest voice broke through my reverie - it was like a Monty Python member dressed up as a granny kind of voice, but minus the British accent.

I looked up again and realized the tall awkward girl was in fact a very tall man in a strawberry blonde wig that did not in any way compliment his complexion. But I immediately liked her more than I had - you go, girl!

2 days till I leave for a short vacation on the beach! Wahooooooo!

Fun on the internets!

Ah, Mondays in the city. People are either angry that it's Monday, discussing their crazy weekends with friends, or sleeping off hangovers. And the internets are abuzz with things I am just now seeing after not reading much last week because I was writing DVD reviews like mad. So, here are a few tidbits to make you laugh:


During my lunch hour today:

1) As I was walking down 55th Street after buying some coffee in Dunkin Donuts (an adventure in itself, after I'd gotten into a kind of confused staring contest with a homeless man outside who said something in gibberish to me and then refused to repeat himself, but instead just smiled at me while I blinked at him), some really loud young men decided that they should walk DIRECTLY behind me and talk very loudly. This is what they said:
Dude #1: Yeah, I'm talking about my SCROTUM.
Dude #2: Yeah, just to be clear.
Dude #1: My nutsack.
(Pause...)
Dude #1: Man, I've got to go back to that strip club.

2) Later on, as I was walking down 5th Ave, I heard two men discussing homeless people when we walked by an old babushka looking panhandler (who I later saw stuff her bills into her pocket to make it look as if she wasn't making any money... sneaky...):
Man #1: Homeless people are interesting...
Man #2: They can make a good bit of money doing that.
Man #1: I'd imagine.
Man #2: No, I mean it! There used to be this man who would ride on the 2 train with me every day. He had a skateboard and he would push himself up and down the cars on it, as if he had no legs. And people would give him a LOT of money, cause he had no legs. But then, he would get off the train every day at South Street Seaport, and STAND UP -
Man #1: Stand up?
Man #2: Yeah, he'd stand up on his LEGS and walk to his car and go home.

3) And later on still, on 56th Street as I was heading back to work, I passed a gay looking thug-type man who was saying to the girl he was with:
"That fucking ignorant fuck! That illiterate fucking fuck!
I was impressed by his use of expletives.



Meanwhile, over the weekend and in some cases last week, these things were happening on the internet:

1) David Bowie meets Tim Burton meets Colonel Sanders - in chicken form!

2) Take a good look at all three of these photos, people:
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Now, imagine little old me at a Man Man show, getting all riled up by the music and finally getting up the gumption to jump into the moshpit nearby. And immediately getting SLAMMED to the floor by a huge, sweaty, almost-naked body...
Turned out, that "most pit" wasn't a mosh pit at all. It was just that guy flinging himself around in nothing but a headband and underpants. And he flattened me.
Good times.

3) If you click on this photo:

...there's more where that came from. Jesus is WITH YOU ALWAYS and don't you forget that next time you're looking at porn online, people.