I am so right!

Ok, you guys - I hope - saw my post yesterday pointing out the madness of Bill Gates, who I believe is trying to deal out doom to the masses by infecting us all with malaria as revenge for not all hopping onto his malaria-charity bandwagon the way we did on his shitty software in the 90's. You can't have everything, Mr. Gates, even though... well... you almost DO have eveyrhing, being a multi-billionaire and all. But that doesn't mean that people are all going to give as much of a crap about malaria as you do, and it CERTAINLY doesn't mean that you have the authority to do away with your biological nemesis, malaria, by infecting the world and starting anew with a select group of malaria-immune superhumans and a new kind of software program that actually works, you arrogant bastard! I'm on to you!

Any of you out there who are laughing a little and shaking your heads, thinking, "Oh, that Lynsey, she's so funny and paranoid. Bill Gates giving everyone malaria! Yeah, right!"... I've got news for you. He really IS trying to kill us all.

Take a look at this: a mysterious fungus has been wiping out entire bat populations in the northeast over the past two winters! Scientists have just now started to figure out the deadly fungus, which has caused a true bad epidemic that has killed thousands, but have yet to discover how to stop its spread or treat it. They're not sure how it got to where it is now, but it seems to be a new strain of a cold-loving fungus normally found in higher latitudes, which has somehow gotten into caves in the US.

Let's use our math skills here, peeps. Bill Gates has gone nutso and is trying to spread malaria by releasing mosquitos into crowds of people on the West coast. Bats on the East coast have been dying in droves. Bats eat mosquitos. Without enough bats to eat the mosquitos, the bug population could explode nationwide, and malaria could become a human epidemic as bad as the white nose fungus has been for bats since 2007! Bill Gates, as a multi-billionaire, has the ability to trek into any kind of territory he wants, anywhere in the world. I bet he's been to the arctic at least once, and I'll bet... mark my words people... he's responsible for transferring this white nose fungus from wherever he found it up there to the caves of the northeastern US.

I'm very serious when I say: keep your eyes on this guy. He's up to something and he probably has been from Day One. He thought he had humanity in his clutches when Microsoft became the most oft-used operating system in the world, but now that Apple is starting to finger his long-held sceptre of Supreme Computer Dominance, he's panicking. He's been on top for too long to understand the implications of his actions. He's gone Michael Jackson - he thinks he's so famous and rich that he can get away with anything.

But we're onto his game. Keep your eyes open, kiddies. We're in for a wild ride.

Bill Gates is making me re-niche

So, I niche-d myself the other day, into the area of human stupidity. But I've been thinking more about it recently, and I've noticed that I haven't really written since then, because there are two simultaneous obstacles to keeping up a steady flow of posts on that subject:

1) People are REALLY stupid, and it's kind of overwhelming to point out at all the interesting cases of such omnipresent dumbness.

2) There's a very specific kind of stupidity I'm really looking for, which is actually boiled down into a different concept than simply responding to acts of real mindlessness. What I'm really after are the kinds of dumbness that could, if people think critically (like I do. I mean, I have a blog. Obviously I'm a thinker.), cause fear and induce paranoia in the informed masses. I've realized that deep down inside, I distrust humanity because when we get together in large numbers, we do really, really idiotic things. Usually under the guidance of some megalomaniacal retard who started out with a notion of goodness, but who's morphed into a deranged mutant psychopath more obsessed with money, self-aggrandizement, and his own legacy that he fails to realize there will be no legacies if his plans are put into action and humanity dies a horrible collective death. These are the people who do stupid, stupid things like developing ever more sophisticated robotics in the face of all science fiction tells us. Or continuing to ignore the fact that sea levels will probably rise soon, and selling beach-front property like it's eternal. Or abandoning investments in renewable energy sources during the beginning of what could turn into a depression. The list goes on and on.

And in all these things, there is the bud not only of serious stupidness, but of really insidious ignorance. An unwillingness to look ahead that can cost us the future of our species. Somebody has got to stand before the onslaught of institutionalized moronic behavior and try to take the deranged beast down. Somebody has got to try to educate the masses, to remind it of its responsibility to use its brain, the best part of itself.

The blinded, blinkered, money-drunk, fame-craving, glory-mongering mental patients running this whole spectacle are out to get us, and some of them are too stupid to even know it. We've got to sniff out the doom before it's birthed, folks. That's where I come in. I'll spend my hours of "work" every day staring at this computer screen, answering the phone, and dreaming of a better world where people aren't such drooling idiots, scouring the corners of the internets to bring you bits of information so bone-chillingly weird, so twisted and bizarre, that you'll get The Fear, too. And together, dear friends, we shall become The Informed. The Strong. And the Paranoid.

So, that being said, there's not a whole lot of stretching of the imagination that one has to perform to understand the abject terror that this has inspired in me. Bill Gates, at the annual TED conference, just today unleashed a swarm of mosquitos into a crowd of people during a talk, with the words "Not only poor people should experience this." 'This' being malaria. Of course, none of the mosquitos this madman released were actually carriers of the dread disease, but he didn't tell the terrified crowd this until several minutes later. Luckily, the crowd at the TED conference is a bunch of rich, pretentious bastards who wouldn't want to look undignified screaming and running from the scene over a bunch of bugs, and probably assumed that Bill Gates is too 'civilized' to actually infect them with a deadly disease, but this act goes way beyond just 'making a statement.' This is the onset of lunacy, my friends.

Remember what I said about money-drunk megalomaniacs? Not to say that Gates is necessarily a bad guy: he and his wife Melinda, two of the richest people in the world, give out huge amounts of money to charities, scholarships, and research funds every year, and are particularly interested in ending Malaria. All very nice of them. But just because you're richer than God doesn't mean you can go around releasing possibly-deadly insects into crowds, dude.

I'm telling you guys: keep an eye on this one. He's up to something. I think he's gotten so tired of yapping people's ears off about malaria and being ignored that he's thinking about taking matters into his own hands and just giving it to everyone, so he can rule the clan of survivors (who will be malaria-resistent and thus fit for his probably robot-run world) with an iron fist full of mosquitos.