I wanted to address one of my side projects that hasn't gotten a lot of attention on the blog here: Whack! Magazine. I haven't spent much time on this blog lately because I've been so busy with Whack, the column, porn writing, networking, lit mag pieces, the book, a Nerd Nite presentation coming up on the 16th, trying to find an agent, but I was talking with my editor and cowriter last night about how we seem to be getting plenty of visitors at the site, but no comments. It got me thinking.
We agreed that our friends, who we'd like to rely on to support our ventures in porn satire and commentary, might be feeling stand-off-ish about commenting, and about the whole project in general, because many of them don't know much about the porn industry. Or they think we're just being horrible jackasses--that's also possible (but we wish they'd comment to tell us so!). Whatever the case may be, we haven't heard from many people about what we're doing, and we're hoping people are at least giving it a chance.
I realized I maybe haven't actually given anyone an explanation or background on it, so here's my shot at that. I wish I had more time to explain everything to everyone individually, but I think that would take like a day. So I'm going to write this up here and send it out as an e-mail to try to explain myself.
Ahem.
When I started writing for porn magazines, I'm sure people thought different htings, but I'm betting there were two leaders. One being: "Wow that's so AWESOME! She gets to be involved in smut!" But then, I'm thinking a lot of you who thought that maybe went and watched some modern porn, or bought up a magazine I wrote for, or even just asked me a few detailed questions about the DVDs I was reviewing. And you realized that the "awesome" thing was kind of conditional. You'd had this image in mind of 1970s style, bow-chick-a-wow-wow porn--the kind where the guys has a mustache and there's some cheesy dialogue and then like a 10-15 minute sex scene that's kind of gross but still sensual. But no, no. I was working for magazines that showed really truly, gut-reaction GROSS images, and the porn I was reviewing didn't have cute kitschy titles or funny but badly executed dialogue. It had titles like "Jailbait #15" and "Fuck Truck," the dialogue was replaced by gagging and choking and screaming, and the sex tended toward 45 minute marathons of jackhammer humping. And you suddenly no longer thought my job was awesome. You thouhgt maybe I was a terrible person.
Or, maybe you didn't bother checking it out. Maybe you thought, "Oh, geez, there goes Lynsey on one of her 'I'm doing something wild and crazy' sprees again. Well, she'll probably be out of it before long." And now it's been two years and I'm still doing it AND I'm also writing for a startup news, commentary, review, interview, satire and etc. web-zine called Whack! Magazine. I'm going to porn conventions and meeting porn stars and, Christ, now I'm writing a column ABOUT writing for porn. Christ, when am I gonna get up out of it?
Well. I can't blame anyone for thinking either of these things, or any number of other things you may have possibly thought. It's a weird decision. But, it's not another 'crazy' phase for me. It's not my dream job, either. Whack! is kind of the culmination of my involvement in porn writing.
Whack! is a weird little corner of the internet for several reasons, and I can understand it being a little off-putting to people who don't know much about the porn biz, or who aren't interested in watching my cowriters and I making fun of people they know nothing about, or who are too busy to read long articles about the state of porn industry health care and so on.
But, well... this is lame, but hear me out. I've gotten pretty deep into the porn biz these days, and sex writing in general. I've learned so much about sex, the industries based around it, and the many different attitudes held in our society about it, that I have come to believe very strongly that sex itself and the myriad accoutrements that go with it can tell us possibly more about ourselves than any other single part of life. Because sex is such a basic, universal drive that has been repressed and tied into morality, society, media, and everything else around us to such an extent that it's almost impossible for people to feel in any authentic way about it. I find the practice of picking apart our sexual attitudes and practices endlessly fascinating, and the more I find out about the whole thing the more excited I get about it.
The more conservative of you might be thinking that I should go into sexology if I find it so fascinating. Make it official, less salacious. But if you know me then you know that science and I, or really anything that isn't directly related to creative output and I, do not get along. I find spouting facts on paper or online, or theorizing about what they mean, much more interesting and satisfying than studying them. And I plan to do just that, in any format I can. Whack! is one of them--an industry specific one, yes, but one that I think can be interesting and enlightening and above all FUN for people to read.
Despite my philosophizing, though, Whack! really isn't trying to take itself too seriously. We know it's a mostly unecessary piece of journalistic boogers. But we also think that these days, with the porn industry limping down the path to death as internet startups offering free content take over our brains (which are so conditioned to think of porn as "bad" that we don't spend any time using them to THINK about the porn we watch) and private masturbatory moments, maybe someone making intelligent and funny and interesting commentary on what's left of it could be a good way of remdining people that it exists and it's not so terrible.
Furthermore, the people involved in porn these days, though they may be (as one of my editors said) "damaged people" with histories of abuse or drug addiction or who knows what other terrible things, are still people. And while we may make fun of them at Whack! for their bad grammar or horribly botched boob jobs or small brain size, we respect the fact that porn is the best and maybe only thing that these people could do with their lives. And we DON'T think that porn performers are some weird breed of combined political refugee and beaten animal that needs to be treated carefully to avoid breakage. They're people, and they're just as capable of doing stupid things as anybody else. We're just there to make a little joke when they do.
But we're also there to make people think about the porn industry. About what's going on with these people who make their living on lust. They're not just thirty second video clips you click on some virus-laden website while you're jerking off (oh c'mon, we know you do it, too!). They're real people living real lives. And once Americans forget about that completely in favor of totally anonymous, free, unthinking, dimly lit, 5 minuts and done so you can get on with your life stroke sessions, the porn industry is lost.
I'm probably over-intellectualizing here (surprise!). Whack! is also the publicity-stunt-turned-real-project leading up to the webisode I'm working on with my friend Joe. It. Is. Gonna. Be. AWESOME. It centers around two young people working at "Whack! Magazine," one by nature and one out of necessity. It's funny and very true to life, and it will appeal to everyone with a dirty sense of humor--which I know is most of you. It's in preproduction right now, and Whack! is our way of drawing people in before the fact.
Really, all I'm trying to say here is that you who read this blog are the people who I hope will be willing to support me in my many creative endeavors. Whack! may not be exactly your cup of tea, but it is a decent and intelligent and funny publication that I'm working my ASS of for. Even if you detest what we're writing, that's fine. Just please read it, feel something about it, and comment on it, or tell me. It would mean a lot.
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