Why Is She Always On About Robots?

Ok, people, if you actually read all my long and rambling blogs, you already know that I have a problem with robots. I just don't trust them. I take science fiction quite seriously as I believe it expresses our deepest fears about the invasion of modern technology upon the ancient and deeply ingrained intuitive beliefs of the human being, and science fiction is forever telling us that robots are not to be trusted. It tells us that they will eventually destroy us, or find a way to dominate us completely, once we have gone too far and made them too advanced for us to control.

I believe this to some degree. People often think I'm joking about it when I mention it, but I really honestly don't think it's a good idea for us to keep making more advanced robots. Friends argue that all they're for is making our lives easier, and while I see the appeal of this (I mean, hell, I'm ever thankful for the devices in my own home that save me time, like my oven and my washing machine, etc), I don't think that we really NEED to have all our tasks taken from us. I mean, sure, it would give us more spare time if we no longer had to do our household chores because we could have the TurboMaid3000 do it for us, but then what would we DO with that time? Probably eat more donuts and watch more YouTube. Not exactly advancing the human race. (This really just belies my lack of confidence in the human race and its capabilities, but am I wrong? I mean... Look at emo kids. They have HEAPS of free time.)

Anyway, I digress. What I'm trying to say is this: be very, very careful people. Pay attention to your surroundings. I have reason to believe these damnable electronic cretins have already taken over. I think we may already be in The Matrix.

Seriously. I only say that with a very faint smirk on my face. If we're NOT already under the control of these metal-plated freaks, we need to be on guard because they're closing in on us.

Here's why: I finally got around to watching Wall-E the other day. Cute movie, really well done. I won't deny it. But maybe TOO well done, if you get my meaning. Of course, I went into the experience on my guard. I told myself: "Watch out, self. Remember, no matter how cute this little hunk of metal is, in reality this could never happen. He's a robot and he doesn't, and never could, have feelings. This is just Disney anthropomorphizing the next phase of Cute Thing, as is to be expected. Don't get all googly eyed over the cute robot. Keep your wits about you, or they'll bag you in the end."

Of course, I softened up by the end of the movie, at least allowing myself the luxury of enjoying the story and appreciating how well it was crafted. But the whole time I couldn't get out from under the strong suspicion that this was nothing but pro-robot propaganda! Someone out there was saying, more or less, "It's ok to trust robots because they are really cute, very sweet, good-hearted creatures that only want to help." In order to get this message across, howver, the creators of the movie had to blatantly lie to make what would really be a cold, lifeless yet animated junk heap look somewhat like a cubish frog with adorable eyeballs. They had to make it human. And it worked. Really well.

The pro-robot agenda in the movie is made almost undetectable by the appearance toward the end of the "evil robot" villain, Otto (I think?) who tries to commandeer the spaceship from the captain and keep humankind from returning to earth, but who is eventually defeated by the strength of the human drive to do What Is Right. This plot twist is a feint toward championing human beings' free will, as well as the possibility of robots turning bad.

But in the end, Wall-E and his adorable girlfriend Eva save the day along with the humans, and are made heroes for their valiant, emotionally-charged devotion to one another and to ... get this ... preserving Life Itself. The robots are the heroes. The robots, who are IN LOVE with each other, get humans back to earth to start over. All with the help of their robot friends, who will no doubt clean up the planet for them, because otherwise, well, that'd be a lot of work, and humans are much happier without having to do that, right?

The whole thing smacks of the movie's creators being enamored to the point of infatuation with the idea of robots, and utilizing a cute storyline together with a good grasp of human emotions (and how to manipulate them) to give people a warm fuzzy feeling toward robots. They're just there to help. Don't fear them. Etc etc. But, think about it: the characters are almost heart-attack-inducingly adorable. The story is so cute it's almost... perfect. Perfect, like a robot made it. Cold, calculating robots programmed to take advantage of our weakness - emotions - to influence us toward the robot cause. Or, just to numb us into being comfortable with robots as our masters before they pull the plug on our feeding pods and startle us into the reality of the Matrix!

I know this sounds paranoid, and I'm ALMOST joking. But, here's why I'm not. In case you've never seen Wall-E, the story revolves around a post-apocolayptic vision of Earth. A sweet little robot named Wall-E and his buddy the cockroach are the only moving things around. One day, another robot comes to the planet to look for life, and in the process meets Wall-E. They fall in love of course, but then the second robot, Eva, finds a plant and has to take it back to her spaceship to report that there is sustainable life on Earth. The plot thickens when she loses the plant, which is growing in a shoe full of dirt, and madness ensues as she and Wall-E try to find it and deliver it to the ship's captain.

Well, after watching this gooey robot love-fest, I was suspicious but willing to let it go and chalk my deductions up to my superior plot-smelling abilities, along with a bit of paranoia. But then, on my way home from where I'd seen the movie... for no reason at all... in the Bronx, on 151st St... on the street... I saw: A SNEAKER FULL OF DIRT. Just sitting there for me to see. In an area where there is no dirt, only concrete. For no reason.

I cannot see any other way to explain this phenomenon, other than that the robots who are running the world put it there to tell me: "Yes, you ARE in the Matrix, bitch. We own your ass. And nobody's gonna believe you. Hahaha, sucker!"