If I can make it there...

Ok, firstly, today I had an appointment during my lunch break to have my private parts waxed. I have never done this before, but I have been hearing that it's the cat's hairless pajamas for some time now from my dearest darling friend, Diane. She hooked me up with her cheap and clean and supposedly very friendly spa, and I decided to give it a shot.
Needless to say, I was nervous about having a total stranger look at, size up, and then mrecilessly rip the hair from, my tender down-there, so as I got off the subway at 34th St and tried to fight my way through the crowds of tourists and businessmen and travelers, I was in a bit of a tizzy. But then I heard a girl behind me, who must have been from Jersey from her accent, say very loudly:
"What's with all these TOURISTS? Seriously!"
...dude, it's HERALD SQUARE. You're right next to Penn Station, where every Long Island Railroad and Amtrak train in the city comes in! And it's literally UNDERNEATH Madison Square Garden, where bands play, circuses show, and the damn hockey and basketball teams play! And all that happens to be about two blocks away from The Empire State Building! How would there ever NOT be tourists there?

Anyway, I went to the vag wax place and got a very competent but very stern Russian lady named - appropriately - Natasha. She was exactly what a vag waxer should be: accented, severe, polite, and merciless with the pulling of hairs. She taught me lamaz (?) breathing techniques to control the pain. I'm not joking. Imagine the feeling of ripping a hair out of your head prematurely, then multiply it by about a few hundred being ripped out at a time, add to that the feeling of almost-burning-hot wax being placed on the skin right beforehand, multiply THAT again by the fact that this is the most sensitive skin on the human body we're talking about, and then imagine a middle-aged Russian woman with really crazy eye makeup is doing it all. Yeah.

But, now I'm all waxed and smooth and stuff and it doesn't hurt anymore, so, there's that. New York!