The world’s first functional sex robot, Roxxxy True Companion, was unveiled this weekend with a flourish of tech talk and barely-concealed boners at the Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas, Nevada, much to the delight of horny hand-humpers and socially incompetent solo strokers everywhere, and to the terror of this usually randy reporter. The thing is, folks, we here at WHACK! love sex, and we love porn, and we love most things that go along with both of these, but robots? Well, they kind of freak us out. True, that may be because, like many porn lovers, we have seen far too many sci-fi movies. But it’s also true that sci-fi movies about the world being destroyed by techno gadgets—like humanoid sex robots—spring from a deep well of human uncertainty about just how far we should be willing to go with androids. With Roxxxy True Companion, the whole point is going all the way.
The robot has been in development for years after it started out as a possible form of future elder care (that’s right, folks, someday you’ll be able to cancel all your awkward visits to Grandma and her cats, and instead just buy her a robot to meet all her conversational needs!), then morphed into a more humpable piece of creepy-ass robot technology. Roxxxy is a life-sized, anatomically correct robotic woman, but she’s got more than most sex dolls: a functional pussy, and, somewhat ironically, a brain. Using military grade robotics technology, together with “sandbox” data technology and an AI system that learns both from its environment and its parent database, True Companion calls her “The World’s First Sex Robot: always turned on and ready to talk or play.” Sounds pretty formidable, huh? Pretty Blade Runner-esque?
Well, not entirely. Roxxxy won’t be running around toting weapons any time soon. The wireless computer that comprises Roxxxy’s brain sits inside an almost entirely motionless body, the first finished sample of which sat on the couch at the True Companion booth at AEE, looking for all the world like a very surprised and be-wigged, but not particularly attractive blow up doll propped up on a couch. Roxxxy is posable, but she doesn't really do much except sit there in whatever pose you choose. Roxxxy is not a robot in the moving/talking/Terminator vein at all, nor are there plans to turn her into a more positioning-friendly fuckbot. Because, weirdly enough, although Roxxxy has all the right parts and can even have a physical, muscle-tensing orgasm thanks to an internal engine, it’s not really her physicality that’s the point. And that’s probably a good thing—not to be callous to such a young, impressionable gynoid, but Roxxxy is not exactly the sexiest sexbot you’ll ever see. She’s not very soft (although she does come in two different skin types, one tougher and easier to clean and care for, the other more like flesh; the model at AEE was in her tough exterior), and the permanent look on her face is somewhere between pissing-herself terror, blank incomprehension, and “Oh my god why is he trying to get me up the ass? I don’t have an asshole, I’m a robot!” surprise. She has cankles. She’s not exactly model material. Rather, like many less-than-stunning women in this world, it’s her shining personality that counts. And that’s where things get weird.
Roxxxy True Companion isn’t just a sex doll; she’s a girlfriend replacement for the hopeless horndogs out there looking for conversation and, dear god, even romance (can you imagine sitting down to a romantic dinner on Valentine’s Day and seeing the guy at the next table with his robot companion? It might happen sooner than you think). Every doll sold will be custom built with a pre-loaded database of information and vocabulary on a variety of subjects her owner—er, boyfriend—chooses. She’ll come with five pre-loaded personalities that each have their own pre-programmed sets of knowledge and vocabulary, and responses to physical and mood-appropriate stimuli (Frigid Farrah, Wild Wendy, S&M Susan, Young, and Mature Martha—each is pretty self-explanatory). The robot also comes with the capacity for building and storing new, owner-developed personalities. Each personality will have its own database and will be able to learn through its wireless connection to the True Companion database (constantly updating) in what’s called a trickle-down artificial intelligence model, but will also learn and remember things as she interacts with her Palmer—er, companion, in what’s known as a bottom-up AI system. For instance, as True Companion partner and developer Douglas Hines told WHACK!, if you have an interest in music, you can order a Roxxxy who knows all about music and can discuss, say, the intricacies of U2. But, if she hasn’t heard of your favorite band, you can teach her about them. When switched onto a different personality, however, you can teach her about a different band, or whatever else it is you want to talk to that girlfriend about, until you have a whole harem of women, each of whom you can discuss different topics with.
But, cock jockeys, lest ye be turned off by a “woman” who can talk: Roxxxy learns in other ways, too. Each personality can be programmed to respond differently to the way you like to handle her. That’s right, Frigid Farrah can be taught to orgasm after 45 minutes of hard penetration, but you can get Mature Martha to come in seconds if you want. Unlike those pesky real women with animated limbs and free will, Roxxxy is guaranteed to come every time you make love to her. Score one point for robots over real women!
As of now, the Roxxxy we met at AEE was the only one in existence, but she will be replicated soon and go up for sale at between $7,000 and $9,000, depending on her customizations. All things considered, a relationship with a real woman that lasts more than a few months inevitably costs much more, so again, score for the sexbot!
Really, in the end, we here at WHACK! are still creeped out by robots. I mean, really, how will you know when she’s learned too much and is starting to draw her own conclusions, think her own thoughts, and plot your sad, sex-related demise? If you fall in love with her artificial intelligence and/or vagina, how will you be able to see it coming when she bands together with all the other fembots to destroy humanity? I guess there’s hope in the fact that she can’t walk, and on that note, I guess the measure of cool gadgetry might outweigh the creep factor. After all, she’s not going to get up in the middle of the night and unlock your gun cabinet, so why not spend some time marveling at the sophistication of her AI brain? And furthermore, while we tend to mercilessly mock those of our readers who can’t get laid by a real woman, Mr. Hines of True Companion pointed out that Roxxxy could be a good jumping-off point for handicapped people, or those with social learning disabilities like Tourette Syndrome or autism. By simulating a real woman’s personality, Roxxxy could be a valuable learning—and also, let’s not forget, fucking—tool. And, I guess that’s pretty cool. As is the fact that she’s one of the most sophisticated pieces of AI equipment ever made. But the moment she starts walking around on her own—there are no plans to make her more mobile at the moment—we’ll have to reconsider. — Miss Lagsalot
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