I heard about Michael Jackson's passing last night, thankfully after I had already started drinking. I managed to gloss it over in my brain and simply not process it all night - I just couldn't. I mean, the world without Michael Jackson? I just wasn't in any way prepared to deal with it. The thought had never even crossed my mind. It was too far in the future. He was too much of an icon, a mystery, a constant weird but awesome presence.
But then, bam, I got up this morning, put on a black dress, and went to work. I remembered the night before. Random strangers in the park and on the street were talking about it, every single bar we passed was playing his music, most car stereos were blaring Thriller on repeat... This morning the headlines were all photos of his face, as it changed over the years from a precocious crooning child to a stressed and unhappy but still incredible man-thing.
What a strange and amazing life. I was crying by 10:30.
No words. I'm sure I'll think of them later, and they'll come out in torrents about how I wished his life could have been better, and longer, and he could have learned to live more normally and be happy. How I wish he'd ever been able to be happy. How much sympathy I've had for him over the years as sensationalism and accusations followed him around, how I watched footage of him and realized that the poor guy just never learned how to behave like a regular human being, and how sad that made me. How when I was four years old, my best friend had a poster of him on the door of her bedroom and how we used to stare at it and sigh over how dreamy he was. How before I knew his music I knew the moonwalk, and when I heard his music I went nuts. How I went out and bought History the day it came out, when I was finally old enough to buy my own music. How the song "Bad" has always just KILLED me.
Sigh. Such a frantic genius.
And on we go.
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Thank you.
ReplyDeleteMy soul cries out every time someone mentions how disgusted they are that the news is dominated by his passing. "Haven't you heard we're in 2 wars and that there's an election being stolen in Iran and the economy's in the toilet??"
Yes. I have.
And it will be so tomorrow. It was so yesterday. For one day, we can mourn the loss of a foundation of the music we all turn to when we need to escape. These things are getting and will get coverage. It's one day to honor someone who touched all our lives.
I'm listening to "Man in the Mirror" with tears streaming down my face.